A Treacherous Mix Page 5
“Of course I do. What does—”
“Meet me where we parked the car that night—as fast as you can get there. This is life-and-death serious. If you have to cancel appointments, do it. I’ll wait as long as it takes. Just say you’ll come.”
“All right. Let me make a few calls and I’ll leave.”
“Before you head this way, take the battery out of your cell phone. I’m going to go get prepaid cells the two of us can use to communicate.”
“Hawk, you’re creeping me out, man.”
“Hurry.”
t
Kate hung up the phone and let out a loud sigh.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Elliot said.
“That was Connor. He wanted me to know that he’s going to fill in for Hawk this afternoon, and that he hopes Hawk’s headache gets better. Why didn’t Hawk tell me himself? And where is he? If his headache is that bad, he should be home in bed. I’m really worried about him.”
“We all are. I imagine he’s stressed to the max over his breakup with Laura Lynn, not to mention the load of guilt he’s carrying.”
“He doesn’t act that sorry to me,” Kate said.
“Why do you say that?” Elliot pushed aside the bowl of eggs he was whipping for omelets and wiped his hands. He went over to the kitchen table and sat facing Kate.
“I don’t know,” she said. “He acts cold and removed, almost like he’s annoyed with the rest of us for making such a big deal out of it.”
Elliot took her hands in his. “You know better than that. Hawk’s never going to let you see how he really feels. Speaking as a man, I can imagine what’s going on in his head. Anger. Shame. Remorse. Over and over again.”
“Anger for what?” Kate said. “Laura Lynn’s the one who should be angry.”
“Honey, Hawk’s mad at himself. He knows what he’s thrown away. He’s angry that he was weak and chose badly. And that he didn’t stop it in the beginning. That he lied to Laura Lynn—and to us. He’s angry that he ignored his conscience, that he failed—”
“Okay, okay. I get your point.” Kate let go of his hands and folded her arms on the table. “Elliot, why did you say that, speaking as a man, you can imagine what’s going on in his head? Do you think that, because I’m not a man, I can’t understand my son?”
“I think you understand Hawk better than anyone,” Elliot said. “But you can’t fully understand the temptations he faces, because you’re not a man.”
“Oh really?” Kate arched her eyebrows. “Enlighten me.” She was relieved that Elliot didn’t react to her sarcasm.
“It’s just that men are visual. Sexual temptation for us can start with what we see and escalate rather quickly. We’re just wired differently than women. That’s why it’s so important to keep our guard up. Hawk knew that because he kept his guard up with Laura Lynn.”
“Exactly. He knew how to keep his thoughts where they belonged,” Kate said.
“Yes, until he saw a gorgeous woman who was flirty and available. His libido might have gone from zero to over the top with that one conversation at the grocery store. After that, his mind got him in trouble—that’s where he made his choice—and he couldn’t stop thinking about her, and once he gave in, he probably justified his behavior until he couldn’t.”
“That seems like such a copout, Elliot. Women can be attracted to men without thinking about sex.”
“Of course they can. Most women are interested in affection, conversation, and a close relationship. Sex is often optional. Men are the exact opposite.”
“So you’re saying that men are looking for sex—and that affection, conversation, and a close relationship are optional?”
“If they’re operating in the flesh, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Look at King David. He was a man after God’s own heart. And yet he saw Bathsheba bathing and lusted with his eyes and had to have her. Then he wanted her all to himself and had her husband killed in battle. He silenced his conscience until God sent the prophet to convict him. After that, he was devastated over his sin and had great remorse. But the harm had already been done.”
Kate looked into Elliot’s eyes. “Do you have these temptations?”
“Sometimes. Temptation doesn’t ask our permission to put an image or a thought into our mind. But I’ve gotten really good at recognizing it for what it is and shutting it down immediately. As a Christian husband, I have no desire for any other woman, Kate. And I keep my guard up twenty-four seven. But I’m as vulnerable as any man.”
Kate sighed. “I don’t understand how a man can be tempted if he really loves his wife.”
Elliot leaned his head closer to hers. “Because, as I said, temptation doesn’t ask our permission to invade our thoughts. It can happen with a look, a touch, a picture. Honestly, with some of the fashion styles these days, temptation is everywhere we turn. But if our guard is up, we nip it right there.”
“But I’m never tempted to be with another man,” Kate said. “I can’t imagine it.”
“Because you’re happy in your marriage. A woman who is unhappy in her marriage is probably missing affection and intimacy. She could be tempted to cheat in order to get the affection and intimacy she desires. Or she might read X-rated romance novels or watch steamy movies or TV programs that draw her in vicariously. Without physically cheating, she is able to live out her fantasies through the characters. She’s no less aroused than a guy who’s entertaining the idea outright. Lust is lust. I don’t think God makes a distinction.”
Kate nodded. “I can see that.”
“All that to say, we shouldn’t judge Hawk too harshly. He’s already judged himself. He’s not the first man to be blinded by lust. King David went on to love and serve God. There were natural consequences to his actions that were very painful. I have every confidence that Hawk has been forgiven and will grow from this, but he can’t escape the consequences.”
“So you think he’s mad at himself, and that’s what I’m picking up?”
Elliot stroked her cheek. “I do. And I think a little tenderness from his mother will go a long way right now. He’s hurting more than you know.”
“You’re wise for a man who’s lived just three years past the half-century mark.” Kate’s smile was met with his warm lips, and she relished the moment. “I can’t believe how insensitive I’ve been. Poor Hawk. Here he was, pouring out the whole ugly, humiliating truth. And instead of at least telling him I’m grateful for a son who can’t live a lie, I punished him for it.”
Chapter 6
Hawk pulled into Rocky Springs Park, his eyes open for any sign that he was being followed. It was nearly nine o’clock, and he knew the park wouldn’t be crowded this early. He noticed a couple jogging. And a woman filling a gallon jug with spring water. And a line of several young children waiting to ride the same carousel he had ridden as a kid.
As he continued driving on the main roadway through the park, leafy green trees thick on both sides, he spotted a tall magnolia tree on which there was a wood sign painted with a yellow arrow. He slowed and turned at the sign and into a parking lot that was nearly empty. He drove his Jeep under the shade of a huge hardwood tree and cut the motor.
He opened the Walmart plastic bag and took out his cell phone and the battery he’d removed and put them in his glove box. He closed the sack that contained two prepaid cell phones that were activated and ready to go.
He wiped the sweat off his forehead and let his emotions catch up with the realization that Brody had likely been murdered. And whoever killed Brody had kidnapped Kennedy and left Hawk for dead. They must know that he had survived. Maybe they were trying to find out his name and where he lived so they could make sure he died this time. What did they think Hawk knew that made him a threat?
He slouched in the seat and leaned his head back, hoping Dennis hadn’t gotten caught in traffic. How long could he ke
ep all this from Sheriff Granger? The last thing he wanted was for his affair to go public, which would embarrass Laura Lynn and his family, and possibly put them at risk too. And guarantee the return of the media circus that had stalked his family far too often in the past.
Hawk heard a vehicle coming down the road and sat up. He turned just as Dennis’s black Chevy Silverado pulled into the parking lot. He waved, and Dennis pulled his truck next to Hawk’s Jeep. Hawk got out, grabbed the Walmart sack, and climbed in the front seat of Dennis’s truck, a blast of air conditioning cooling his face.
“I’m so sorry about Brody,” Hawk said. “I hardly know what to say.”
“Me either. Except I want the scum who did this to pay.” Dennis’s gaze was intensely focused on Hawk. “Okay, I’m here. I took the battery out of my phone. Now tell me what this is about. You know something you haven’t told me.”
“I know something I haven’t told anybody.” Hawk breathed in slowly and let it out. “You remember Brody saying that when the guys in the gas masks drove away with the woman, they left the man for dead?”
“Of course I do. I told you.”
Hawk cracked his knuckles. “That man was me.”
Dennis’s eyes were suddenly as big as saucers. “You? What the—? Why didn’t you say so yesterday?”
“Because I was stunned. Like the wind was knocked out of me. Until you told me what Brody had seen, I didn’t know what had happened to me. You filled in so many blanks. But there’s more to the story than what Brody saw.”
“Yeah, like what you were doing with some gorgeous mystery babe. Were you cheating on Laura Lynn?”
Hawk felt his face get hot. He told Dennis about how he had met Kennedy Taylor, how lonely she had been, and how an innocent hug had exploded into more than he could have imagined. He should have run, but he didn’t. Instead, he entered into that relationship with his conscience on mute. He told him all he could remember about the day of the sailboat races, and how shocked he was to wake up and find Kennedy’s house totally empty.
“All I knew was that I’d been dusted with some kind of chemical and Kennedy had disappeared,” Hawk said. “I was blown away. I didn’t go to the sheriff because I didn’t know if she was a criminal or a victim. I figured her name had to be an alias. I honestly didn’t know anything about her background, other than she claimed to be a wealthy heiress. I didn’t even know if she was still alive. I was pretty much stuck in the twilight zone until you told me what Brody saw.” Hawk turned to Dennis. “You’re the only person besides me who knows what went down.”
“Which makes me a potential target,” Dennis said. “Though I suppose Brody did that. What in the world have we stepped in?”
Hawk shook his head. “My mind’s on tilt trying to figure it out. The real estate company has to be in on it. I called them, just to see if they would tell me the same thing they told you. The lady I spoke with said the house had been vacant since October when they got the listing. She told me it was owned by the FAMPRO Corporation out of Little Rock. I read about FAMPRO on their website, but it didn’t mean anything to me. I wrote down the name of the contact, the address, and phone number. But I’m thinking if they’re looking for the man they left for dead, and don’t know my name, I sure don’t want to open that door. If they find out I’ve been snooping around, they’re liable to put two and two together. Maybe we should leave things alone. As far as we know, Brody was the only witness to the drone attack and the woman being kidnapped. Maybe they won’t pursue it now.”
Dennis hit his forehead with his palms. “I can’t live like this, man. We need to go to the sheriff and tell him everything.”
“I want to. As long as we both go with our eyes wide open.”
Dennis sighed. “Meaning what?”
“I doubt the sheriff can protect us,” Hawk said. “Or our families. What if we’re dealing with a drug cartel? Or organized crime? Or something just as sinister? We’ll have to spend hours on end talking to every law enforcement agency you can think of, and then some. Believe me, it’s intense. I’ve been there.”
“I know.” Dennis took off his cap and wiped the sweat from his forehead. “Look, it is what it is. I’m willing to gamble that we’re safer with the sheriff knowing than the two of us out here alone with targets on our backs, scared of our own shadows.”
“I agree.” Hawk glanced at his watch. “Why don’t we head for the courthouse and get it over with?”
“Could we hold off until after Brody’s funeral?” Dennis said. “His family’s Jewish and it’ll probably be done before sundown. I need to be there. And I want my aunt and uncle to have the chance to say good-bye without being hounded by the media and a bunch of strangers who show up just for the drama. It’s going to break their hearts to find out Brody was murdered.”
“Assuming the sheriff can prove it,” Hawk said.
“Well, we know.”
“We think we know.” Hawk heard a crow cawing and shuddered. “Let’s hope we aren’t opening up a worse can of worms.”
t
Kate sat on the front porch, watching the hummingbirds fight mercilessly for control of the feeder.
“You act like politicians,” she said aloud, and then laughed.
She heard the sound of Hawk’s Jeep in the distance. It was about time he came home after asking Connor to take his shift because his headache was so bad.
Kate looked out and saw a cloud of dust moving across the far western property line of Angel View.
“I see he’s taking the shortcut.” Elliot came outside and sat next to Kate.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’m not going to interrogate him. Not today. But I really don’t understand why it took him until eleven o’clock to come home. If he were any employee other than my son, he’d have to give me a good reason not to fire him.”
Elliot put his arm around her. “Maybe he needed a mental health day.”
Kate grinned. “A what?”
“A little grace. Once in a while, we all need a day to reflect and get our act together.”
“Well, I hope he’s ready to reflect in bed because that’s where he needs to be.”
Hawk pulled in the driveway, got out of the Jeep, and walked up the steps.
“Did Connor give you my message?” Hawk said.
“He did. About three hours ago.” Kate fought to let it go with that. “We’ve been worried about you.”
“I can’t seem to shake this headache. I think I’ll take some Excedrin and go lie down.”
Kate reached up and took his hand. “I realize these past few days have been extremely difficult. I just want you to know how much I love you.”
Hawk’s eyes glistened. “That means more to me than you know.”
“Ta-da!” Jesse stood at the bottom of the steps, holding something furry.
“What’ve you got there?” Elliot said.
“The first free kitten from Chestnut’s litter. Mama said I could have him.”
“I said I’d think about it.” Kate smiled. “Let’s see.”
Hawk squeezed her shoulder. “I’m going to go lie down.”
“Okay, honey,” Kate said. “I’ll check on you in a while.”
Jesse came up the steps, his fine dark hair windblown, his silver smile reflecting the sun.
“It’s a male,” Jesse said. “I think.” He gently gave the orange-and-white-striped kitten to Kate.
“Oh, he’s so darling,” Kate said.
Elliot rubbed the kitten’s chin. “He’s almost as cute as you are.” He smiled at Kate. “I’ll be back.”
“We’ll be here,” she said, “trying to think of a name.”
t
Hawk washed the Excedrin down with a glass of water and lay back on his bed. He didn’t know which was worse, the throbbing headaches or his guilty conscience reminding him that he hadn�
��t told the whole truth. He was going to have to tell his family about the danger he was in and why. If only he had known what Brody knew, he would have reported Kennedy’s disappearance right after it happened. He doubted the authorities would have found her without more to go on. But Brody might still be alive.
Hawk sighed. Poor Brody. He must have been so scared. Now Dennis would have to go through the funeral, pretending that his cousin’s death was just a terrible accident, all the while knowing that, soon afterward, he would multiply his aunt and uncle’s grief by telling them he believed Brody was murdered.
Lord, how do I tell my family? The last thing in the world I wanted to do was embarrass them by having my affair with Kennedy all over the news. Please protect Dennis. And give Brody’s parents an extra measure of grace. If Kennedy is still alive, keep her safe and show us how to find her. And please protect me until I can sort this out.
A knock on his door startled him.
“It’s Elliot. May I come in?”
“Okay.”
Elliot eased into the room and sat on the side of the bed. “I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time.”
You don’t know the half of it. “I’ll be okay once the Excedrin kicks in.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean?” Hawk said.
“Just that it takes time to work through the pain. Like most of us guys, you’re probably trying to rush it. You really can’t. Healing has its own timetable.”
Hawk didn’t say anything.
“The truth will set you free. God said so. You’ve told the truth. Now you just need to wait on the Lord to keep His promise.”
Hawk felt as if he might explode. “But I haven’t told the truth!” he blurted. “At least not all of it. It’s so much worse than anything I’ve told you. You have no idea.” His heart nearly beat out of his chest.
Elliot laced his fingers together, his hands between his knees. “Well, it’s never too late to do what’s right.”