A Treacherous Mix Read online

Maybe Kennedy didn’t leave of her own free will. Maybe she was a victim. But of what? What did he even know about her? She told him she was an only child who inherited a fortune after her parents died. He thought it was odd that she talked very little about herself but figured maybe the pain was too fresh. But what she lacked in verbal communication she made up for in physical expression. And despite biblical admonitions regarding premarital sex, he could hardly think of anything else. Except making sure each sensuous rendezvous remained their private business.

  What now? There was no way he could report what had happened today and sound credible unless he admitted to Sheriff Granger, to Laura Lynn, and to his family that he’d been having an affair. An affair so intense and shallow that he hadn’t taken time to get to know the woman he’d been involved with. How would they react?

  Hawk suddenly felt hot all over. It was one thing to have immersed himself in the pursuit of pleasure, but another to confess it openly. How could he admit to them that he’d let lust control his actions? That he’d betrayed Laura Lynn? That he’d broken the vow he’d made to the Lord not to have sex until he married?

  Hawk glanced out the window at the last vestiges of the sunset. Why tell them anything? He couldn’t undo his actions. Or give the sheriff even one reliable fact about Kennedy Taylor, which probably wasn’t even her real name. All he wanted to do was go home and take a shower and wash this nightmare down the drain. He felt as if he were living in the twilight zone—only this was real.

  t

  Kate Stafford sat arm in arm with her husband, Elliot, on the porch swing of their log home, savoring the sights and sounds of nightfall on Sure Foot Mountain.

  “It’s glorious out here tonight,” Kate said. “June is my favorite month. I hope the guests are enjoying the cool breeze after being out in the sun for the sailboat races.”

  Elliot smiled. “I saw a whole crowd of them out on the back deck of the lodge when I walked up here from the marina. Someone had a guitar and they were all singing. The kids were down by the gazebo, chasing lightning bugs. Compared to this, Riley might find Camp Evergreen downright disappointing.”

  “It’s just for a week. But Angel View does feel different without her chatty little self charming the guests. They get such a kick out of her. And Jesse’s hummingbirds. I want our guests to have a great time, but I’ve never been comfortable mingling with them. Micah was the one who loved being out front. I was better in the business office.”

  Elliot kissed her cheek. “I’m sure he’s smiling down from heaven at the way you’ve kept this place going. And, after all these years, you should know that everyone has a wonderful time at Angel View.”

  “Well, it doesn’t happen without someone keeping an eye on details.” Kate gave Elliot a gentle jab in the ribs with her elbow. “I’m glad you talked me into promoting Savannah to general manager. You were right. It was much easier to replace my head waitress than it would’ve been to hire and train someone to manage this place.”

  “Especially when you already had someone who understands the operation.” Elliot smiled wryly. “Doesn’t hurt that her husband is probably the best chef the lodge has ever had.”

  Kate laughed. “I must say you’ve taken more of an interest in Angel View Lodge than I ever expected.”

  “Well, I’ve gotten to know the owner intimately.”

  “Is that so?” she said playfully, combing her hand through his salt-and-pepper hair.

  “Indeed. Now I find myself completely enmeshed in the entire operation. I’m even crazy about her family, as if they were my own.”

  “Sounds serious.”

  “Very.” Elliot picked up her hand and slid his thumb across her wedding ring. “To tell you the truth, when I’m with her, I’m more at home than I ever was in that sprawling old house of mine. I love living at Angel View, in this log house that Micah built, on this property that God provided, with my ready-made family that I loved from afar. It’s what I was made for.”

  Kate laid her chin on Elliot’s shoulder and looked up at him. “Do you ever wonder if you need your head examined?”

  “Every day.” He laughed. “But there’s nowhere else on earth I’d rather be.”

  Kate heard a car door slam and sat up. “That had better be Hawk.”

  “It is. May I suggest you remember he’s twenty-four years old and not give him the third degree as if he were still in high school? Just sayin’.”

  Kate took a deep breath. Elliot was so good for her.

  Hawk Cummings walked up on the porch. “Hey, you two. Any of that spaghetti left?”

  “I saved you two helpings,” Kate said proudly, “which is no easy task with Jesse rummaging through the fridge around the clock. So how was your day?”

  “So-so. No great shakes. Sailboat races were cool.”

  “Did you catch up with your friends?” Elliot said.

  “Everyone was there. Except Laura Lynn, of course. She got off at seven, so I drove by her place on my way home. Think I’ll go take a shower and put some aloe on this sunburn. Then enjoy some of Mama’s spaghetti.”

  “Savannah brought over quite a list of customers signed up for tomorrow’s Jeep tours,” Kate said. “I put it on your dresser.”

  “Thanks.” Hawk bent down and kissed the top of Kate’s head. “I love you, Mama. You’re the best.”

  Kate looked up at her firstborn, aware that she was being charmed, but unable to resist. “I love you too.”

  Hawk took Elliot’s hand and they did the fancy handshake known only to the two of them, and no words were necessary.

  Hawk opened the front door and went inside.

  Kate nestled closer to Elliot. “How’d I do?”

  “Perfect. I’m proud of you. You didn’t even mention that he’d spilled something on his shirt.”

  “It’s hard to accept that Hawk’s an adult,” she said. “That’s so strange, too, considering he tried to be the man of the house all those years Micah was missing, and I let him. Now that he’s actually grown up, I find it hard to think of him as an adult.”

  “I wonder if it’s because he’s still under your roof.”

  “Maybe,” Kate said. “But since he’s running the Jeep operation, it has worked out well for him to live here. You know what an invaluable help he’s been to me and Dad, not to mention a great big brother to Abby, Jesse, and Riley.”

  “I know, darling. It makes perfect sense. I’m just saying it might be why you find it hard to see him as a grown man.”

  “I just know that it’ll be difficult when he finally does move out. The younger kids think he hung the moon.” She smiled sheepishly. “I suppose a part of me does too.”

  t

  Hawk pulled off his yellow polo shirt and looked in the bathroom mirror at his uneven sunburn, made weirder looking by his short stubble beard. The left side of his face and neck, his left arm, and the outer side of his left leg were badly burned. He must have lain on his side for a long time.

  After examining the spatter on his shirt, he took his sunglasses out of the pocket of his cargo shorts and held them up to the light. They were sprinkled with the same red substance. Upon closer inspection, so were the denim shorts. He rummaged under the vanity and found a box of thirteen-gallon trash bags he’d bought for a camping trip. He plucked a bag, opened it up, and stuffed his shirt, shorts, and sunglasses inside and tied it. Until he could figure out what had happened, he would find a safe place to hide these for evidence.

  He turned on the water in the shower and waited until it was just right, then stepped in and let the water pour over his head and down his back. The hot water didn’t feel good on his sunburned skin, but he took the bar of soap, worked up a lather, and washed away the sweat, grit, and whatever chemical had been used to render him helpless. If only it were that easy to wash away the confusion, fear, and guilt.

  He couldn’t stop
thinking about Kennedy just vanishing like that. If she wanted to break off the relationship, all she had to do was stop inviting him back. He could only wonder if she was a victim too—he knew he certainly was. He was left with many questions and no answers. And a huge secret he was afraid to report. Not that he could really tell the sheriff anything for certain—other than he had sold his soul to revel in carnal pleasure with a beautiful woman who either had disappeared on purpose, or might be in grave danger. Or was dead. Or not.

  Hawk turned off the water, stepped out of the shower, and wrapped the bath towel around his waist. He wiped his feet on the mat and stepped over to the sink to look at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes appeared dark and empty. He knew his heart was.

  How could he have put on blinders and let himself be lured into a web of deceit? Something Pastor Windsor had said at the men’s retreat came rushing back to him:

  “Just remember you can’t have it both ways. If you walk in the pure light of God’s Word, you know the truth. But if you start compromising what you know is right, your truth becomes an ugly, watered-down shade of gray. It’s a treacherous mix.”

  Hawk gripped the sink and hung his head. He knew he should have run the minute he laid eyes on Kennedy. She was so beautiful. So desirable. So available. He walked into that trap with his eyes wide open and his conscience on mute. He’d used her. Looking back, she gave herself to him as if he were all that mattered. Unselfishly. Unashamedly. As if she were letting go of all her pent-up feelings. What was she hiding?

  Hawk’s heart sank. He would probably never know what had happened to her, and that would haunt him the rest of his life. But he was different after that intensely intimate experience. He had partaken of the ecstasy God intended for marriage, pleasure he had no right to, and it had changed him. He wasn’t sure exactly how, but he wasn’t the same man.

  Tomorrow he had to muster the courage to tell Laura Lynn that he was breaking up with her, that he’d been sexually involved with someone—but without revealing Kennedy’s name or that the affair ended only because she disappeared. He did not look forward to hurting Laura Lynn, and was deeply sorry for the betrayal he knew she would feel. Maybe one day she would be able to forgive him. But he doubted it would be tomorrow.

  Chapter 2

  Hawk was up with the sun and put in a full day, taking guests at Angel View Lodge on Jeep tours across Sure Foot Mountain. He hadn’t had much time to rehearse what he was going to say to Laura Lynn when he met her at Coffey’s after work.

  After saying good-bye to the last of the guests who had signed up for the day’s Jeep tours, Hawk went home and showered. He took a couple of Tylenol that he doubted would dull the nagging headache that had plagued him all day. He didn’t know if it was stress related or a by-product of yesterday’s bizarre mystery. He just wanted it to stop so he could think straight.

  “You missed spaghetti night.” Jesse Cummings stood in the bathroom doorway, munching a cookie. “And church this morning.”

  Hawk smoothed his hair and looked over at his little brother, who was holding several cookies in his hand. “What are you, my conscience? I can’t always be home for spaghetti night. And I had to do Jeep tours today because I switched days off with Connor so I could go to the sailboat races.”

  “I miss you, that’s all,” Jesse said. “I haven’t seen you much lately. We should go fishing. We always have a great time.”

  “We do, Jesse, but I only get one day off in the summer, and part of that is spent in church …”

  “And the other part is spent with Laura Lynn. I know.” Jesse’s countenance fell.

  “Can’t you get Elliot to go with you?”

  “We do other things. He’s cool. He’s just not a fisherman.”

  “What about Dawson? I know he fishes.”

  “He loves it, but he’s got football training camp, church camp, and then he’s going to Washington DC with his grandparents.”

  “What about Grandpa Buck?”

  Jesse raked his fingers through his fine, dark hair. “We catch bluegill at the marina, but it’s too hard for him to hike along the riverbank to where the bigger fish are.”

  Hawk turned to his brother and looked into his pleading eyes, remembering the long hours their dad had to put in at Angel View when Hawk was thirteen, and how Grandpa Buck had always been available to take him fishing on the river. “Okay, sport. I’ll go with you next Sunday after church—if you’ll get the bait and have our tackle ready to go. Deal?”

  “Deal!”

  Hawk bumped fists with Jesse, noticing for the first time how he was losing his boyish features and looking more like a teenager. “Now let me finish getting ready.”

  “You going out with Laura Lynn?”

  “I’m meeting her at Coffey’s.”

  “You must be tired. You don’t sound very happy about it.”

  Hawk turned Jesse around and gave him a shove. “Good night, Dr. Phil.”

  Jesse laughed. “Bye. I’m going over to Timothy’s and watch a movie on Netflix. I’ll see you when I see you.”

  Hawk stared at his reflection in the mirror. He didn’t even look the same. After tonight, Laura Lynn would never speak to him again.

  Hawk drove slowly past Coffey’s Grill House and saw the festive, colored lights strung in the trees around the back patio. The place was busy for a Sunday night—mostly with locals. It was too far off Main Street to attract many tourists. What made him think this was a good place to bare his soul?

  He saw someone waving and realized it was Laura Lynn. He pulled his Jeep into the space next to hers, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. He could do this. He had to do this.

  “There you are,” Laura Lynn Parks said.

  She came up to his Jeep, still dressed in her pink-and-white uniform from Bella’s Bakery, her long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail, her facial features delicate and feminine. He remembered how attracted he was to her the first time he laid eyes on her, and how he had agonized for weeks before he’d had the courage to ask her out. How could he have ruined everything?

  “You don’t look very happy to see me,” she said.

  “Sorry.” Hawk got out and took her hand. “I’m just tired. Would you mind if we took a walk instead of going inside right now?”

  “All right. It’s beautiful out tonight.”

  As they walked toward Timberline Avenue, Hawk held tighter to Laura Lynn’s hand than he had intended. He just couldn’t make himself start the conversation.

  “Hawk, is something wrong? And please don’t tell me no. You haven’t been yourself for weeks now. I’m feeling very insecure about this relationship. We haven’t seen each other in almost a week, and you look more like you’re going to a funeral than on a date. Is it me?”

  Hawk shook his head. “I promise it’s not you. You’re remarkable. I, on the other hand …”

  “You, on the other hand, what?”

  Hawk sighed. He stepped over to the barbershop window and leaned his back against it, facing Laura Lynn. He looked around to make sure they were alone. “I’ve done a terrible thing, babe. I’ve struggled to find an easy way to tell you, but there just isn’t one. I’ve been seeing another woman for a while now.” Hawk looked down at his shoes. He could hear his heart pounding in the agonizing moments that followed. Come on, Laura Lynn, say something.

  “How long is a while?” she finally said.

  Hawk lifted his head. “About six weeks.”

  “No wonder you’ve been avoiding me. Do you have feelings for her? Is it serious?”

  “I’m not in love with her, if that’s what you mean. But it’s serious on another level.” Just say it before you can’t. “I–I’ve been sleeping with her.”

  Laura Lynn held her hand over her mouth and whimpered. “How could you, Hawk? We made a vow to God not to have sex until we marry. What were you thinking?
”

  “Obviously, I wasn’t. I let my guard down. I’m not proud of it. I don’t know what else to say.”

  She threw her hands in the air. “There’s absolutely nothing you can say. Once is letting your guard down, and that’s bad enough. But six weeks? That’s a deliberate slap in the face. Does anyone else know?”

  Hawk shook his head. “No, I wanted to tell you first. I’m so sorry. I know this must be devastating—”

  “Do you think? This changes everything …” Laura Lynn started to cry. “I can’t—no, I won’t—build a future with a man I can’t trust. What’s this woman’s name?”

  “It doesn’t matter. You don’t know her.”

  “Are you going to continue seeing her?”

  “No, it’s over,” Hawk said firmly. “She’s left town.”

  “You can’t possibly think we can continue seeing each other after this.”

  “No. I let you down. Let God down. Let myself down. I don’t deserve to be in any relationship until I can understand why I let this happen.”

  “Seems clear to me: your libido was stronger than your commitment. I can never trust you again.” Laura Lynn looked dazed. She took off her promise ring and held it with her thumb and forefinger. “I guess that’s it. This is good-bye.”

  Hawk sighed. “I wish we could at least stay friends, but that never seems to work while the pain is so fresh.”

  Laura Lynn seemed trapped in a long pause. Finally she said, “Tell me something. Not that I would have done it … but why didn’t you even try to get me to sleep with you? Am I not desirable? Is there something wrong with me?” Laura Lynn’s eyes brimmed with tears.

  Hawk swallowed the emotion that was just under the surface. “I respected you too much, babe. I never let down my guard with you. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. You’re a beautiful and extremely desirable woman, and an incredibly kind and giving human being.” He wiped her tears with his thumbs. “Someday the man God intended for you to marry will come into your life. He’ll appreciate that you saved yourself just for him.”