A Treacherous Mix Read online

  Laura Lynn took his hands and pushed them away. “I wanted you to be that man.”

  “So did I,” Hawk said. “I’m sorry. I’m not the first man to be blinded by lust. I just want you to understand that what happened was my choice, my undoing. It was not a reflection on you as a woman.”

  Laura Lynn’s face turned stone cold. “Doesn’t matter. I couldn’t feel any less significant than I do at this moment.”

  “I never intended to hurt you.”

  “I could almost believe that, if it had happened just one time. But you deceived me for six weeks. Did you even feel an ounce of remorse? Obviously, you were more interested in satisfying your lust than in protecting my feelings or this relationship.”

  Hawk couldn’t think of anything to say in his defense. She was right. “I’m so sorry. There’s no excuse for what I did. If I could go back and change it, I would. I know your heart is broken, and I know what we had is over. But I hope someday you’ll be able to forgive me.”

  Laura Lynn put her promise ring in his hand without replying. The prolonged silence that followed was excruciating.

  “Just so you know …” Hawk finally said, his voice cracking, “I’m not planning to tell anyone else about the affair, other than Mama and Elliot, and Grandpa Buck. I’d like to spare us both the humiliation.”

  “What are you going to say if someone asks why we broke up?”

  “I’ll say we came to the mutual realization that we were growing in opposite directions, and it seemed best to end it.”

  Laura Lynn nodded. “That’s true enough. I really don’t relish the thought of having to tell our friends what you did, though killing you has some appeal.” Her half-hearted attempt at humor just produced more tears. “Despite everything, you’re not an easy person to hate.”

  “Well, if it’s any consolation, I hate myself enough for both of us.” Hawk stood up straight. “Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.”

  He started to take her arm and she put her hands in her pockets. They walked up the block, side by side, without talking.

  When they got to her car, he put his hand on the door so she couldn’t open it. “Laura Lynn, please look at me. I can’t let you go without saying one last thing.”

  She spun around. “What is there left to say?”

  He looked into her eyes and saw the sweet, tender soul who had won his heart. “You are my first love, and no one else can ever be that. There were so many positive things about our relationship. Despite everything, I’ll never forget that. I hope you won’t either.”

  Laura Lynn’s eyes glistened. She turned around and waited for him to move his arm, then quickly opened the door, her hands shaking, and slid in behind the wheel. She started the engine, backed out, and drove away, without saying a word.

  Hawk sat at the kitchen table with Elliot and Grandpa Buck, staring at his hands and enduring the extra-loud clanking of pots and pans as his mother grabbed them from the dishwasher and shoved them into the proper cupboard. It was her way of letting off steam. And it was easier for him to deal with than having her go off on him after his gut-wrenching confession.

  Finally, Kate came back to the table and sat next to Elliot. She breathed in slowly and exhaled, and then looked over at Hawk. “I don’t think I have to tell you how disappointed I am, as much for the pain it’s causing Laura Lynn as anything else.”

  “Of course you don’t,” Hawk said. “I knew you would be. I’m beyond disappointed in myself.”

  “What hurts most,” Kate said, “is your blatant dishonesty. You’ve been with this woman numerous times in the past six weeks, and you told us you were with Laura Lynn.”

  “I didn’t exactly say that, but I did let you think it.”

  “Which is the same as lying,” Elliot said.

  Hawk ran his hands through his hair. “I know. I was ashamed. I didn’t want you to know what I was doing.”

  “Especially while you had no intention of ending it,” Kate said sarcastically.

  “We’ve all made bad decisions.” Grandpa Buck took off his glasses and set them on the table. “But so help me, boy, this one takes the prize. That girl was the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Why were your eyes rovin’ in the first place?”

  Hawk sighed. “I wasn’t looking, Grandpa. I was leaving Salisbury’s market and saw this gal fumbling to hold on to a busted sack of groceries that were falling all over the pavement, so I went over to help. We got to talking. She was new to the area and said she was having a hard time making friends. I couldn’t imagine why. She was drop-dead gorgeous and easy to talk to. Before I knew it, I’d offered to take her on a Jeep ride—not here at Angel View, but on my own time. The rest is history. It’s a moot point anyhow. She decided not to stay in Foggy Ridge. She’s moved. It’s over.”

  “Thank God for that,” Kate said.

  Hawk started to say something and then didn’t. “Before you judge her, there’s something I think you should know. Though the time I spent with her was morally reprehensible, nothing about it was sordid or sleazy. And in fairness to her, she had no idea I was already in a relationship. Despite what you’re probably thinking, she was a very nice person. Under different circumstances, you would have liked her.”

  Kate raised an eyebrow. “So does this ‘very nice person’ have a name?”

  “Her name isn’t important,” Hawk said. “It’s over. She’s gone. Let’s leave it at that.”

  “Don’t be surprised if it isn’t that simple,” Elliot said. “There are often far-reaching consequences to sin we haven’t even thought about.”

  “What could be more far reaching than losing Laura Lynn? It’s going to affect me for the rest of my life.”

  “Hawk, have you given any thought to how your deceitful behavior has affected the rest of us?” Kate glanced at Elliot and Grandpa Buck. “I don’t think you realize that you betrayed us too. I, for one, have always been able to trust you with anything. Anything. You kept this family together when your father and sister were missing and it was all I could do to get up in the morning. And suddenly, I wonder if I even know you and if I’ll ever be able to trust you …” Kate’s voice trailed off, and she struggled to keep her composure.

  “Mama, please don’t think that. I’m the same person. You can trust me. I’ll never lie to you again.”

  “How would I know?” Kate dabbed her eyes. “You pulled off this whopper without any of us suspecting a thing. Can you understand how unsettling that is?”

  “Your mother brings up a good point.” Grandpa Buck hooked his thumbs on his suspenders. “Our love for you is free, Hawk. But our trust in you isn’t. And it doesn’t come cheap. You’re gonna have to earn it back, for however long it takes.”

  Hawk sat back in his chair, his arms folded across his chest, and looked over at Elliot. “I see what you mean. I guess it’s not that simple.”

  Elliot put his hand on Kate’s. “Consequences never are.”

  Chapter 3

  Hawk awoke with a start, soaked in perspiration, his breathing rapid, his head aching with that relentless pounding he couldn’t get rid of. That was the third time he’d had that crazy dream involving Kennedy and him, and a huge black spider that didn’t bite but spewed venom. So real and yet so vague. It was creepy.

  He threw off the covers and let the air from the ceiling fan cool his sunburn. Why was this dream recurring? The spider couldn’t have been real, and yet the reddish substance on his shirt was. It must have been a drug or some kind of chemical because he’d been having miserable headaches ever since. What if it was affecting his health?

  Hawk reached over to his nightstand and grabbed the bottle of extra-strength Excedrin he had picked up at the drugstore after breaking up with Laura Lynn. He shook two tablets into his palm, picked up his water bottle, and washed them down. That should at least take the edge off so he could go back to
sleep.

  Thoughts of Kennedy returned to him, and he wondered for the hundredth time who she really was, and whether she was still alive. He didn’t have to wonder where he stood with Laura Lynn, though. His encounter with her earlier tonight was less explosive than he had imagined. But their relationship was definitely over—instantly shattered by his confession of betrayal. How sad for them both.

  He could imagine how special it would have been on their wedding night, had Laura Lynn been the first. Instead, Kennedy Taylor—a woman he didn’t know at all and yet knew intimately—would forever hold that place in his memory. One more way he would pay the consequences of his actions.

  He wanted to stop thinking about Kennedy, but her mysterious disappearance consumed his thoughts. If he chose to tell his family the entire truth of what had happened, they would insist he go to the sheriff and report it. Then it would become public—a case probably involving numerous law enforcement agencies. Kennedy was likely involved in criminal activity, or was a victim herself. Of one thing he was sure: it was complicated, and reporting it could put him under a microscope. On the other hand, Kennedy might be in trouble, and he her only life preserver. Was he really so intent on protecting his family’s privacy and his own reputation—and the fact that he hadn’t reported it right away—that he would take that chance?

  If he did report it, he would be interviewed over and over again by law enforcement people asking embarrassing personal questions about every aspect of his involvement with Kennedy. Or worse yet, they would try to implicate him in her disappearance. And if it turned out she was a criminal, wouldn’t that make him look like a complete moron for not having a clue?

  Hawk turned on his side and pulled the top sheet up to his waist. He had hoped after he confessed his wrongdoing that he would be able to let it go. But telling only half the truth had actually made it worse.

  Halo jumped off the windowsill and crossed the room. She hesitated a moment, and then jumped up on Hawk’s bed and rubbed against him. He pulled her close to his chest, and she nestled next to him and started to purr. Comforted by the sound and the closeness, he also bemoaned the fact that she was the only female who wanted anything to do with him at the moment.

  Laura Lynn would never forgive him. His mother would, but not without making him feel guilty until she could deal with her disappointment. Even the clerk who had sold him the bottle of Excedrin was abrupt with him, as if she knew what he’d done.

  Hawk rubbed Halo’s chin, glad when she purred even louder. For the first time in a long while, he had no plans for the future. What kind of fool trades the most precious relationship in his life for a few weeks of sleeping with a stranger? And now, even after owning the affair and losing Laura Lynn, he was still caught in a web of deceit. The mystery surrounding Kennedy’s disappearing act hung around his neck like a giant question mark.

  The next morning, Hawk decided to eat breakfast at Flutter’s and avoid any unpleasant encounters with his mother or Elliot.

  He sat along the wall of windows facing the hummingbird garden and waved at Jesse, who was already outside filling the feeders. Several guests were watching, fascinated at the swarm of hummingbirds around Jesse.

  “Well, look who’s up with the sun.” Abby Cummings stood at the table, holding a fresh pot of coffee. “You look like you could use some caffeine.”

  “Restless night,” Hawk said, holding up his mug. “I wouldn’t be up this early, especially on a Monday, but I’ve got a seven-thirty appointment at Armison’s to have my Jeep serviced.”

  Abby poured him a cup of coffee, glanced around the café, and then pulled out a chair and sat next to him. “I’ve got a few minutes before this place gets busy,” she said. “Tell me what’s going on. I came home last night and heard Mama, Elliot, and Grandpa talking in the kitchen. I heard your name mentioned. But when I walked in, they got quiet. Being the nosy sister I am, I wanted to know what was going on. They got all flustered and tongue tied, and said it was personal. So I’m asking you.”

  “It is personal.” Hawk felt his cheeks get hot. “I would rather not get into this now—or ever.”

  Abby folded her arms on the table. “Listen, you. We’ve never kept secrets from each other. Since when can’t you trust me?”

  Hawk pursed his lips. “Okay, I’ll tell you. But you can’t tell anyone.”

  “I tell Jay everything,” Abby said. “You know that.”

  “All right. But no one else.”

  “Fine,” she said. “Tell me.”

  Hawk looked at his sister’s innocent face and hated that she would never again look up to him. “I’m not proud of myself, okay? I did something really, really stupid.” Hawk sighed. “I didn’t plan it, but I got involved with another woman. I mean, really involved.”

  Abby just stared, her eyes big and round. Finally she whispered, “You slept with her? Are you out of your mind?”

  “It’s over. She’s left town. I told Laura Lynn last night, and she gave back the promise ring. We’re done.”

  Abby sat back in her chair. “She must be devastated.”

  “Thanks for stating the obvious. Look, I really don’t want to talk about this right now. I just destroyed the most important relationship I’ve ever had and the person I love the most. I’m feeling about as low as a person can get.”

  “Who was she? Someone I know?”

  “No, you didn’t know her,” Hawk said. “But since she’s left town, it’s a moot point, and I don’t want to talk about her.”

  Abby’s eyes brimmed with tears. “I’m just sick. I love Laura Lynn like a sister. Once Jay and I set a date, I was going to ask her to be my maid of honor.”

  Hawk hung his head. One more consequence of my actions. “I’m sorry, Abby. But you don’t need to change your plans because of me.”

  “You idiot. Jay was going to ask you to be his best man. You ruined everything.” Abby stood and picked up the coffeepot. “I need to go take care of the guests. Take your own order.”

  Hawk sat for a moment, heat radiating from his cheeks. He took a couple of Excedrin out of his pocket, popped them into his mouth, and drank a few gulps of ice water. He waited until Abby was across the room, her back to him, and then left by the side door.

  Hawk stuffed the last bite of a doughnut into his mouth and washed it down with coffee, his hunger satisfied, but his heart heavier now that he was carrying Abby’s disappointment on top of everything else.

  He left the Foggy Ridge city limits and saw the blue-and-white sign for Armison’s Body Shop up ahead. He turned his Jeep into the gravel lot just as someone in a late-model red Mustang spun his wheels and pulled onto Highway 62, leaving Hawk in a cloud of white dust.

  Dennis Armison, a red bandana tied around his head, waved him into the open garage.

  “Hey, Hawk Man. Good to see you. I apologize for my cousin’s rude exit.”

  “I didn’t realize that was Brody.” Hawk got out of the Jeep and brushed the dust off his black T-shirt. “So what’s his problem this time?”

  “Aw, it’s a long story. I’m worried about him, though.”

  “How so?” Hawk went over to a table in the corner and poured himself a cup of coffee.

  “Remember back in high school when Brody said he saw a UFO and it turned out to be a huge flock of blackbirds?”

  Hawk smiled. “Yeah, but that was no big deal. It was kinda funny.”

  “Well, this isn’t.” Dennis lifted the hood on Hawk’s Jeep. “He needs to go talk to his shrink before it gets out of hand.”

  Hawk blew on his coffee, took a sip, and just listened.

  “I’m afraid he’s losing it. He hasn’t told anyone else the stuff he’s been telling me. Says he’s afraid people will think he’s nuts.” Dennis arched his eyebrows. “And believe me, they will.”

  “Come on, you don’t really think he’s crazy. Brody’s alway
s marched to the beat of a different drummer.”

  There was a long pause. Finally, Dennis said, “Hawk, no one in his right mind would believe the stuff he’s telling me.”

  “Like what? I’m all ears.”

  Dennis hung a light from under the hood and glanced over at Hawk. “Just between us? Says he saw a hexacopter drone—you know, like the ones I play around with—flying up on Sure Foot Mountain the day of the sailboat races. Only this drone flies right over his head to one of those grassy slopes where a man and woman are sitting on a blanket. It hovers over them and then covers them with a cloud of something red that makes them cough like crazy and then pass out cold. The drone flies off, and a few seconds later, two … Should I assume by the look on your face that you’ve already heard enough?”

  “Not at all. I’m fascinated. Go on.” So it wasn’t a spider, and I wasn’t dreaming! Hawk’s heart pounded so hard he wondered if Dennis could hear it.

  “A few seconds later, two men dressed in black wearing gas masks came running out of the woods. One picked up the woman and put her over his shoulder, and the other picked up the blanket they were sitting on. They ran back into the woods where a huge house was almost hidden in the trees. Brody saw a black Suburban in the driveway and a plain white moving truck parked out front. He couldn’t make out the license plates, but the two men put the woman in the back of the Suburban, closed the door, and got inside. Six other men, also dressed in black, but with black caps on their heads, came out of the house and got in the white truck. Then they all drove away. That’s it. He swears it happened.”

  “But not enough to go to the sheriff and report it?”

  Dennis laughed. “Of course not.”

  “But if he believes it, why not?”

  Dennis took the air filter out of the Jeep and set it aside. “He’s scared. I mean really scared. The drone could have easily taken a picture of his face, and he thinks the men who took the lady may be trying to find him. He’s superparanoid now—much worse than usual.”